The Mask called Ego

For the last several weeks I have been pondering "costumes" and their everyday use, outside of Halloween, mascarade balls, and Lucha Libre matches (that's Mexican wrestling for those that are unfamiliar with the term or translation... refer to Nacho Libre, the movie, for a further explanation). How many of us don't realize that Halloween is something we unconsciously live everyday? The costumes we slip on from a young age as we absorb... imitate... emulate... the examples we have chosen around us... mother, father, family, friends.... We know at birth and a young age "the secret" but we are taught in school and by our families to forget... generation after generation... because that is all we know how to do. We are unaware (asleep... unconscious) that this "skin"... this costume... this mask we call ego... isn't really who we are or what this life is all about.

But there is hope...I believe. We are waking up to this itchy sensation as the masks and costumes start to suffocate. Here I am, approaching my 30th anniversary around the sun (in the vessel I know as "Pilar") and I am starting to wake up to this uncomfortable sensation as I follow the signs south and shed the layers with the heat. Im just starting to scratch the surface of "Pilar" as I leave behind parts of "Lynda" and "Rudi" and "others"... with no offense to my parents in any way... they are perfect beings and great teachers for me...But, alas, I am getting closer to being my naked, true self... and for now, I recognize this costume for what it is and work towards peeling of that last layer and accepting SELF.

And to end with a good story and fun pics for entertainment purposes... A night out with the boys in "Zihuat"... I don't get out of Troncones much, but this was a special occasion... Only Mexican Wrestling could drag me out of my little paradise and into the "city" on a Saturday night... and boy oh boy was it worth it. An unforgettable night of laughter and excitement as we cheered our stretchy-pant-wearing men on as they flew through the air performing the craziest kinds of acrobatics. I was thoroughly impressed and entertained with the spectacle... especially with the wrestling outside of the ring, amongst all the spectators, including them rolling right through our row banging on each others head with a cow bell! CLASSIC! I recommend not missing the chance to see this performance live... Nacho is cool, but this takes the cake! J and J, aren't you guys glad that "buddy" decided to stay in Saladita for a bit longer and keep you here for the best night of your Mexican life? Hell Yeah you are!!!!!


And for those of you worrying and praying for the health of our girl, Marisol, she is/was much better thanks to your kind thoughts and the work of her team of love doctors, Jesus, J and J... Unfortunately, we are having a bit of a "bad" day at the moment, but nothing a little love (and possibly some starter or alternator maintenance) can't fix.... ahhhhh... the life of a VW van owner... You never know what you are going to get. I love it!

A tribute to Marisol

My beloved Mari... she appeared in my dreams last summer as i meditated out on the overlook at the farm, "la yola", on Quadra. I asked for a 4-wheeled traveling companion, preferable a diesel Westy, that I could call "home" on the road south. After scouring all the craigslists of the pacific northwest, she finally appeared at just the right moment... weeks before my departure.... a well loved 1982 Diesel Westfalia, the color of sunshine, born to travel south and just waiting or her moment to shine. My (unknowing) co-conspirators, Don Ernesto, Mads, Mike, Carol and Glen, worked together to bring Marisol into my reality. Thank you, Team Love. We are very grateful for their contribution to our special union.

The initiation into our relationship began precisely at mile 130,000, out in "the sticks" of Portland.. aka Estacada... Christmas tree capital of the west coast. It was love at first gear as we purred along the back mountain road that we had completely to ourselves, minus a very occasional truck of hunters passing by. We couldn't have been more excited as we neared the top of this majestic mountain and the snow started to fall... what a perfect beginning to a long and beautiful partnership.

And here we are, 10,000 plus miles later (the odometer reads 140,626 exact, and will stay at that mark unless she decides to come out of her recent retirement) in the tropics of Mexico. We've come a long way, yet I know that this is "apenas comenzando" (como dice mi BF Sayulita, Jose)... just the beginning and we have many more kilometers to travel across many lands until we find a spot to retire and rest our wheels at a place we can call home.

This is true union... a marriage of sorts.. united by love, through sickness and in health, till death do us part... Just two days ago we were in prime health as we charged though the muddy jungle roads. No hesitation. No fear. Our off road campeona! I couldn't have been more proud... Go Mari!! Go!!!!!!!!! But as everything else in the game called life, there is no room for attachment(outside the mind/ego) as all is in a constant state of change. Today, I choose Marisol as my teacher of non-attachment as she switches gears from happy and healthy to moody and sick in a matter of 24 hours.... So we accept it as it is and I give thanks for the all that PRESENTs itself... including a fatigued Marisol. And just when she decides to get sick, my two VW Van angels appear, Joab and Joe(father of Marisol's name-less buddy...adorable couple, no?) and save us from abandonment on the side of the road.. so close to home, yet not... i love where she choses to call it quits... but thanks to the angels, plus the buddy, we get a tow back to base camp, aka "home Troncones". The VW Van angels are also wise in mechanics, yet Mari being in the mood that she is in, chose not to reveal her sickness to them or even to the love mechanic, Jesus, who sacrificed years of his own life for her to SUCK diesel out of the fuel injector WITH HIS MOUTH! (we are talking mouth fulls) But that was yesterday... and tomorrow is another day... The love mechanic, Jesus, will be back with new tricks up his no-sleeve, plus the presence of the blessed angels and me cheering from the sides. I have no doubt that we will nurse her back to health... As with any lasting relationship, patience, devotion, compassion, faith, and most importantly LOVE all come into play. I will be here with her, through sickness and in health, to hold her "wheels" and care for her while the team nurtures her back to health... I'm not going anywhere (literally... for the moment, it's bikes, buses and rides), Marisol. I'm here for you, always and forever.

P.S. Thank you guidance team for blessing us with our VW Van Angels. The moment I saw the VW Syncro parked in Saladita, I knew I had found new friends. They understand the love for the van and the ups and downs involved in a relationship... love, faith, commitment... the foundations of it all... and of course, the value of the "third person chair." We heart you guys!!!!!!